Decades ago I was in Portland for the summer. l had never been to a dog race. So I went. Dog race, where exploited animals get to chase a fake rabbit.
Bought a program. I know two things about racing dogs. They are called "Greyhounds" and they each have four legs.
Read the roster, is it called a roster? for the first race. Not a clue.
Parade. Blue dog with white markings. I like blue. $2 to show. Tote
board. This dog, Madame X, goes off at 8 to 5. Show ticket will
scarce get my money back. They're off! First turn the black dog bumps
Madame X and she rolls paws over teakettle plumb off the course.
Beginner's luck?
Second race. I've assessed this one more carefully. a true grey
greyhound, name "Wendy's Grey." Had a girlfriend named Wendy once. $2
to win. Went off at 35 to one. Dang! She won, paid 72.36. Beginner's
luck!
I'm now $6836 to the good. A great time to quit. So I do. Just watch
the doggies run. Third race. Coming out of the first turn it looks as
though a huge animal, horse? no, just the biggest darn greyhound on the
planet and a little white beast, almost small enough to be a whippet,
are all alone so far in front that they may be the only two in the
race. And they go for the bunny! They go so fast the Whippet-like
thing actually catches the rabbit! The Horse-like thing grabs it from
her teeth, they rip it to shreds just in time for the rest of the field
to screech to a stop to behold the carnage.
Darn! said the Horse. That thing ain't even real.
Phooey on this whole bit, chimed in the Whippet.
Yeah! All chorused They turned and trotted across the
field to the paddock, or whatever they call a dog enclosure.
The rest of the card was cancelled because the report of the rebellious creatures motivated all the dogs to go on strike.
Full disclosure: The first four paragraphs are fact, the rest is fiction.
3 comments:
Might could be fiction. It's still a good read.
Chuck, much of it anyway.
Well, I enjoyed the whole tale. Or is it: I enjoyed well the whole tale?
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