I don't know whether to walk in shame or in pride for yesterday I took a short ride and parked for some reason by AT&T I caved, don't you see? Came home with a cell phone in my pocket but I'm beginning to think I might have to lock it in the house for safe-keeping For trust me my eyes are leaking it won't fit in my pocket dang thing is so big to carry it would drive me out of my wig Man-purse you say Get out of here go away There is no such thing Ring-a-ding-ding So grab my flip phone and out the door No bad choices today or forevermore. I hope.
Saturday, January 23, 2021
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
Little Old Woman and Little Old Man #T
Little scriblets by little old man during their last summer together. Published elsewhere and gathered here for preservation.
Little old woman and little old man Cooked their eggs in a frying pan Took a spin on their tandem wheel And saw the world all too real Everything a terrible sight Gave them both an awful fright Back home they hung their jammies on the posts of the beds And pulled the covers over their heads.
Little old woman and little old man Rock side by side whenever they can Cracker Barrel veranda or their own place Life is just better when you slow the pace What's the big hurry Why rush and worry Sufficient unto the day are the cares that we bear Tomorrow's woes will arrive when we're there If we live that long
Little old woman and little old man Arose from bed turned off the fan Splashed some water on their faces Headed out to see the races The horses were huge the bets were small But still they managed to lose it all It's not what you bet that makes you lose But that you bet so try to choose An entertainment less taxing And your life will be more relaxing
Little old woman said little old man Let's go for a ride I think we can So they got in the car and drove a short way Let's look and see what we see today On their right they saw the Moose and on the left the calaboose Into the country and guess what they saw Corn and soybeans and soybeans and corn The killdeer flew up and the crow said Caw And Soybeans and corn and corn and beans And little old man out the window leans And shouts Hoo Rah for Indiana
Little old woman and little old man on Sunday night Sitting together everything is all right She reads from the Bible old man listening For old woman will turn to him her eyes glistening And ask him a question to test his attention One thing he gets and feels really blessed Is that our sins are covered by the blood We've passed the test When we believe and confess The Lord And let Him guide us through His Word.
Little old man said little old woman, Let's go for a ride and no more than said it And the skies opened wide It poured and it rained it rained and it poured The lightning flashed and the thunder roared It poured some more but then the skies cleared Look it's sunny not so bad as I feared Put on the shoes got in the car But had gone only this far When on our own street we ran into this Literally. [street covered with water knee deep] We went for a ride anyway.
Little old woman said little old man They are coming to take us away Who When They Today They are coming to take us away Hey hey They build cell towers they scramble our brains They will mess us up worse than derailed trains There is no escaping They know where we are They know when we sneeze or get in the car It's a hopeless case I tell ya Ma Whether or not we zig zag or yaw They gonna get us if we hang around here Oh Wait Maybe SpaceX will take us there There Where Right there he said pointing to the moon What I think she said is that you are a loon.
Little old man had a birthday today Little old woman said keep getting older you'll be ancient one day You are already an antique--mm What rhymes with antique Never mind you're just an old codger Here have some more beans and corn dodger.
Little old woman said, Please button my shirt. But, said little old man, my fingers hurt. They got the job done Though it takes two to do the task of one.
.Little old woman and little old man sit side by side The hour is getting late and I'm sleepy, he said.Well, I'm not, little old lady replied. So he lets his head loll and the shades drop over his eyes. Get up, he hears her say, I don't think it's wise To sleep in your chair until break of day. So he'll get up and toddle to bed but will he sleep then? Nay. What light through yon window breaks? Why, it is the sun, he awakes. Nay, not so, for little old man's prophecy came true And no matter clouds or sunlight this day is bound to be blue.
Life in the slow lane-- I heard a young woman mutter, Get out of my way. Yep, My Way, as though she owns the store And the aisle and probably more.
Monday, January 18, 2021
With the Kid at the Zoo
Why is giraffe's neck so long? It has to reach from her head to her shoulders.