Cell Phone?

The cell phone has been in use five years. It is not its former self. We have for several months been talking about a new one. We have even talked to some of the reps in the stores. Main point: I have frequently said, to BBBH, "All I want is a phone I can make or receive phone calls with." (Yes, I did end that statement with a preposition.) Computers are fine, gadgetry not so much.

So yesterday I told the wife, You go ahead and pick what you want. Go for a new contract if you have to, but let's just get this thing done. (We have been "beyond" contract for at least three years, and the freedom to be able to drop the service whenever we want has some value, even though we never availed ourselves of that option.)

Thus she goes to the shop, spends two hours at the counter-- I am not making this up-- and finally comes home with a two-year contract and a with-all-the-bells-and-whistles-and QWERTY keyboard "phone." PHONE??!! And what can I say? I told her to choose, and she did.

[I did ask, "Where are the hatpins?" "Hatpins," she said, "what do you mean, hatpins?" "To punch the keys with," I sez, "a matchstick is much too thick." When, oh when, will I ever learn to button my lip?]