Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Frankly Borrowed Material...

..I'm not nearly this clever.

I was looking through some files stored in the word processor. This one was saved over five years ago, and I neglected attribution; or perhaps I never knew who the author is. It's fun.

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like . . . night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ponder these. Come back tomorrow for the rest of the list.


Anonymous said...

I've got something like this stored away somewhere. Sounds like George Carlin, eh?

Vee said...

Very clever person who made these observations.

Anonymous said...

Apologies to you. I thought these ought to be on facebook

Lin said...

Hee! Hee! Profound, Vanilla. Thanks for the chuckle. :)

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

I've seen that list- it's really clever. There is actually a wonderful book called "The Speed of Dark"

Rebecca said...

HAHAHA!!! I have heard some of these. Too funny! I'll have to pass them along to my husband, who revels in puns.

vanilla said...

Grace, Carlin. There was a funny man.

Vee, someone was thinking.

Bob, that's okay. I accept most free advertising!

Lin, I always hope you will smile, or perhaps furrow your brow in thought. Depends.

Shark, sometimes it is just fun to reread some things.

Rebecca, glad you enjoyed them, and hope Hubs does, too.