Showing posts with label foolishness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foolishness. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2015
Blogging in Bed #T
My "writing" often occurs in the wee hours of the morning as I lie abed longing to be held in the arms of Morpheus but nevertheless gratified that since the mind will not shut down usable ideas sometimes impinge themselves upon my consciousness.
Some of the material you see here on String Too Short to Tie was produced in just this manner. Maybe the value of that is reflected in the quality of the product. Be kind.
Thursday night a complete story, fictional but illustrative of one of life's truths, filtered through my mind and finally sleep came.
Often when I dream I can recall upon awakening that I had a dream but find it elusive when I try to remember the details or even what it was about.
Friday morning when I sat at the keyboard to transcribe the tale of the previous night I found that I remembered the story, but the quality of the thing seemed to be somewhat below the standard I hope to achieve. Pondering on this I realized that what had occurred was a semi-sleep dreamy event in which I was actually dreaming that I was lying awake creating a blog post.
Conclusion: The whole thing was not worthy of being posted. Yet somehow I managed to think that this account of the events was blog worthy. Go figure.
Also, thank me for sparing you the tale.
You're welcome.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
All Fools' Day
Today is the day we celebrate the entire human race.
I Cor. 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Barb
Disclaimer: This is an 800-word essay, and rather inane. Spend your time on it at your own discretion.
I dream. I am told that everyone dreams. This is a fact about my dreams, though. I often remember when I awaken that I was dreaming, but I cannot remember the dream. But occasionally the vividity of the dream impinges itself upon my waking consciousness. Case in point. I dreamed last night, a continuing dream with intervals of wakefulness, then back at it when sleep returned.
I am with a couple of other fellows in a park-like setting. On the ground is a tarpaulin, and on the tarp are four porcupines. Dead porcupines. Unbidden and without any particular reason, we strip the quills from the animals with our bare hands. We pile the quills on the tarp and lay the carcasses aside. “There must be three or four pounds of quills there,” I observe. Now I am standing there alone when my younger son walks up and says, “I see you have found my porcupines.” Conversation reveals that he has taken up Indian-style beading and he is using quills as a part of his beadwork.
The offspring and the quills are gone, but the area is now filled with people who seem to be having a picnic. Family reunion, I am advised. A rather odd and seemingly arrogant fellow a few feet away to my left is bloviating about something. I don’t know him. My father walks up on my right and says something I have never heard my father say, ever. He said, “I don’t like that man.” I inquired as to who he was, and Dad told me he didn’t know his name, which in itself is totally uncharacteristic of my parent, for he always remembered the name of anyone he ever met, but, he said, he was some sort of distant relative.
Dad is now on a go-kart, zipping away. How droll! Father’s behind is a mere wheel's radius and a two-inch plank away from the pavement. And here he comes down Walnut Street, approaching Green Street. As he enters the intersection, and Green is a through street, a car approaches from the north. The driver sees that Dad is not going to stop, hits the brakes. The tires skid on the pavement but clearly the car is not going to stop in time, The driver swerves behind the go-kart, drives over the curb and through the front yard of Padgett’s home and back into the street, and goes on. Dad, realizing he was supposed to stop is now in the middle of the street, backs his cart out of the intersection. But he apparently has no awareness whatsoever that a car had approached him, avoided him, and went on.
Standing on the lea with a bunch of people around, someone says to me, “You have a porcupine quill stuck in your face.” I don’t feel a foreign object in my face, but I don’t touch my face, either, in the event that there is a quill there. So I ask my father if he sees anything stuck in my face, “No.” He walks away, but then a lad of ten or eleven years walks up to me and an uncle tells me, “This boy has very keen vision.” The boy fixes me with his peanut-butter brown eyes, looks intently into my face, and says, “You have a porcupine quill stuck in your right eyelid.”
Here I took a restroom break, and thought how silly this all was, surely glad it is over.
Then back in bed, I fell asleep again and started to fret about getting the quill out of my eyelid. I decided I needed to see an optometrist, so I headed off toward Dr. Doi’s office. Dr. Doi was my kids’ optometrist thirty-five, forty years ago. I find myself in a large city. I know that his office is just across the avenue from this vast department store I am walking through. Crowded. There are more people in here than one would find on Christmas Eve. The doors from this level to the next open to allow a group of people through, and I rush to join them, for I know that the doors will close quickly and there will be a wait for another opening. I get through and find myself on another level and facing another set of doors at the end of the hallway. People scurrying, porcupine quill ever-present in my mind though I still feel no pain. I start thinking about how the doctor will remove the thing. I see the traffic in the street now and the office just on the other side. Doc will turn my eyelid inside out, I imagine, grasp the barb with a tweezers, snip the quill short on the other side and pull it through.
That is what I thought he would do, and now I have told you my dream.
Yep. It is Friday the Thirteenth.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Ten Commandments
for the 21st century.
Thou shalt have no other entertainments before me.
Thou
shalt not respect stadia to other sports, nor honor them, nor patronize their
venues, for I am a jealous sport.
Thou shalt
not take the name of Football in vain, nor show contempt nor disrespect, for the
scoffer and scorner shall not be held blameless..
Remember Sunday to keep it sporty. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: and
rest up from Monday and Thursday nights, which thou shalt also spend with me.
But Sunday
is Football’s
day. Thou and all thy kinfolk, thy pets, and the visitors amongst thee, shall
do nothing that honoreth not nor respecteth not football.
Honor those
who honor me, and only those who honor me.
Thou shalt
not kill, yet those who scoff at me, eject thou from thy presence.
Thou shalt
not be unfaithful to me, nor allow any other entertainment to cross thy
threshold.
Thou shalt
not steal time from me, except thou mayst refill thy plate and thy stein during
commercial breaks.
Thou shalt
not bear false witness, nay, even though the call may be in error.
Thou shalt
not covet thy neighbor’s sixty-five inch screen, nor his wife who cheers his
team with him, nor his pets, which verily wear his team’s colors.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
A Little Closer to Right
How many of you are 1) still up at 2 a.m., or 2) will get up at 2 a.m. to reset your clocks?
Which of you will forget the whole thing until you find yourself at church an hour before starting time Sunday morning?
How many of you wish they'd just quite fooling with the whole thing?
As I have stated on this blog in times past, I would not find DST objectionable were it not the case that we live in an area which is incorrectly zoned anyway, and hence DST is really double daylight time. Clarification: When we go to Standard Time, we are really going to daylight savings time. Okay?
I typed the title and later got to thinking, What is close to right? I believe close to right is just another way to be wrong.*
*As a mathematician, I am keenly aware of the fact that there are situations and circumstances in which close is the best one can hope for. Yet, even then, the closer the better.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Climbing Fool's Hill; and Coming Back Down #T
Springtime had arrived on the Front Range. I think it was a high school freshman class picnic. Surely it must have been my freshman year, for no one older than fourteen would have behaved in a manner silly enough to generate this tale.
The class was not a large class, for the school itself was a small school. Close enough: there were more than ten of us, fewer than twenty, as we set out in four cars driven by the class sponsors and a couple of courageous upper-school youngsters.
A few miles above the Garden of the Gods on the Rampart Range Road, there was a very nice spot for a picnic. Large meadow allowing for games, plenty of places to explore. While others were engaged in games of a social nature, three of us wandered up the hill to the site of an old abandoned mine. We climbed the hill of rubble, moving two steps forward and a step back as the material gave beneath our feet. (Disclaimer: the hill was not nearly so massive as the one depicted above, but it was adequate.) Having gained the summit, it seemed imperative to enter the adit and explore the interior of the mine. However, inside the mouth a few steps, broken timbers and fallen rock were sufficient to convey the message that entry was not warranted.
As I stepped out onto the unstable pile of small rocks, my weight and the forward motion combined to create a skiing action. Wow! That was fun. Climb back up the hill, repeat. Climb back up, wait. If I make a short run (there was space for no more than a short run) I can fly! The landing will be safe, for the itty bitty rocks will cushion me, and I may skid a l o n g way down the hill!
This all worked exactly as I had pictured it in my mind, up to and including the feet-first landing. But my feet had no more than made contact than so did my behind. And I skied a way down the hill. On my backside. The rest hardly needs telling, but I know you want my version of the outcome. Outcome. What an appropriate term, for when I managed to stand, my hands rather reflexively reached toward the most offended part of my anatomy. They discovered that there no longer existed a material seat in my breeches. And that my behind was quite bloody.
Needless, I am sure, to say that the "picnic" was over for me. But not for my classmates, who went on having fun, while I sat alone, to the side, on an old blanket a sponsor had in the trunk of his car. Hurt, too. My pride I mean. What did you think I meant?
The illustration was borrowed from among dozens I found online and tampered with considerably to reflect sort of what I saw on that sunny May afternoon.
The class was not a large class, for the school itself was a small school. Close enough: there were more than ten of us, fewer than twenty, as we set out in four cars driven by the class sponsors and a couple of courageous upper-school youngsters.
A few miles above the Garden of the Gods on the Rampart Range Road, there was a very nice spot for a picnic. Large meadow allowing for games, plenty of places to explore. While others were engaged in games of a social nature, three of us wandered up the hill to the site of an old abandoned mine. We climbed the hill of rubble, moving two steps forward and a step back as the material gave beneath our feet. (Disclaimer: the hill was not nearly so massive as the one depicted above, but it was adequate.) Having gained the summit, it seemed imperative to enter the adit and explore the interior of the mine. However, inside the mouth a few steps, broken timbers and fallen rock were sufficient to convey the message that entry was not warranted.
As I stepped out onto the unstable pile of small rocks, my weight and the forward motion combined to create a skiing action. Wow! That was fun. Climb back up the hill, repeat. Climb back up, wait. If I make a short run (there was space for no more than a short run) I can fly! The landing will be safe, for the itty bitty rocks will cushion me, and I may skid a l o n g way down the hill!
This all worked exactly as I had pictured it in my mind, up to and including the feet-first landing. But my feet had no more than made contact than so did my behind. And I skied a way down the hill. On my backside. The rest hardly needs telling, but I know you want my version of the outcome. Outcome. What an appropriate term, for when I managed to stand, my hands rather reflexively reached toward the most offended part of my anatomy. They discovered that there no longer existed a material seat in my breeches. And that my behind was quite bloody.
Needless, I am sure, to say that the "picnic" was over for me. But not for my classmates, who went on having fun, while I sat alone, to the side, on an old blanket a sponsor had in the trunk of his car. Hurt, too. My pride I mean. What did you think I meant?
The illustration was borrowed from among dozens I found online and tampered with considerably to reflect sort of what I saw on that sunny May afternoon.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Whimsy
The last of the Uncle Jeptha Tales
appeared here on September 25.
Should you wish to read or reread
any of them, They can be accessed
via the “Short Stories” and “More
Stories” tabs at the top of the
page.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
DST
Daylight Saving Time (United States) 2014 begins at 2:00 AM on
Sunday, March 9
which is great, because the clock on the car radio will be in agreement with convention again-- for six months. (But nevertheless, the whole concept is stupid, imo. It is particularly noxious because we live in a state that observes geographically incorrect time zone anyway, such that we are really on "daylight savings time" all the time. Except when we are on double daylight time. Check it out here.)
Signs of Spring at Chez vanilla
Besides resetting the clocks tonight.
Friday, March 7, 12;47 p.m. BBBH: "There's a robin in our yard!" Indeed there was.
1:45 - 2:30 It is 62o outside. Really. Vanilla is in the yard picking up sticks and branches that have lain on, in, and under the snow for many weeks. Well, some longer than others, for they came down over a protracted period of time. Some of the sticks had been lightened by the removal of the bark by the starving bunnies. Glad we could help feed the poor little things.
2:32 p.m. As he was walking toward the street, vanilla observed an F-250 flying down the road. It stopped at the other end of the block. Stop sign. But then. Then the driver puts the vehicle in reverse and flies back up the street, passing me at a pretty good hickory. Gets to cross street, stops. Backs into said street. To turn around? Nay, not so. To back the entire block down the street to the next street. Then he backs a block up that street, a block back toward our street, and finally puts it in "forward" and proceeds out of sight to the north. Signs of Spring everywhere, I tell ya.
Signs of Spring at Chez vanilla
Besides resetting the clocks tonight.
Friday, March 7, 12;47 p.m. BBBH: "There's a robin in our yard!" Indeed there was.
1:45 - 2:30 It is 62o outside. Really. Vanilla is in the yard picking up sticks and branches that have lain on, in, and under the snow for many weeks. Well, some longer than others, for they came down over a protracted period of time. Some of the sticks had been lightened by the removal of the bark by the starving bunnies. Glad we could help feed the poor little things.
2:32 p.m. As he was walking toward the street, vanilla observed an F-250 flying down the road. It stopped at the other end of the block. Stop sign. But then. Then the driver puts the vehicle in reverse and flies back up the street, passing me at a pretty good hickory. Gets to cross street, stops. Backs into said street. To turn around? Nay, not so. To back the entire block down the street to the next street. Then he backs a block up that street, a block back toward our street, and finally puts it in "forward" and proceeds out of sight to the north. Signs of Spring everywhere, I tell ya.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Mounds or Almond Joy?
String Too Short to
Tie is brought to you today by the foolishness of the author. Sometimes I feel
like a nut, sometimes I don’t.
My email program, Windows Live Mail, offers a plethora of fonts. I have seldom played around with these, so today I thought to take a look at some of the options.
It really is quite amazing what one can do with this set of choices, but mostly this is provided simply for your frustration and my entertainment!
This particular font is called “Opus text” which is really quite readily legible, at least compared to some of the other offerings.
Suffice it to say, I believe I won’t submit my doctoral dissertation in this format. Nor in webdings, either.
Returning to non-nonsense, Happy birthday, Bernardine!
My email program, Windows Live Mail, offers a plethora of fonts. I have seldom played around with these, so today I thought to take a look at some of the options.
It really is quite amazing what one can do with this set of choices, but mostly this is provided simply for your frustration and my entertainment!
This particular font is called “Opus text” which is really quite readily legible, at least compared to some of the other offerings.
Suffice it to say, I believe I won’t submit my doctoral dissertation in this format. Nor in webdings, either.
Returning to non-nonsense, Happy birthday, Bernardine!
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