Friday, July 10, 2015

Like a Hog on

Typical February morning, workday.  I am shaved and groomed, tie knotted and the topcoat snugged over my ensemble (I am laughing out loud, hope you are too).

Stepping off the back porch I carefully set one foot before the other, for a slick of solid ice covers the ground, a thin slick, to be sure, but slippery as, well, you know.  I arrive at the garage and throw up the overhead door.  That's right.  It had no "garage door opener" other than the driver of the vehicle.

Now I call your attention to the drawing above.  The street is quite narrow but does accommodate parking along the curb and a lane for moving traffic.  I must back my car down the drive, and "down" has some meaning here, crank the wheel as the rear of the vehicle enters the street, then

But "then" did not occur this morning as planned.  The neighbor across the street has a penchant for parking his wheels directly in front of his house, which as you see is also directly opposite the debouchment of my driveway.  Remember the ice.  I did, and I was ever, oh so careful. And yet although I turned the steering wheel, the wheels of the two-and-one-quarter ton behemoth did naught but slide on backward.  I hit the brake, and the car continued to ski.  Into the neighbor's vehicle.

My car sustained damage to the extent that there was a smudge of red paint on the bumper which was easily scoured off with rubbing compound.  Jon's car did not fare so well.

After arriving at work and getting the day started, I had to call my insurance agent to report this incident.  Now here is the fun part of the story.  The crunched vehicle belongs to my insurance agent's son.  You may smile now; after all, this all happened nearly forty years ago.

Word of the day: debouchment


Jim Grey said...

Better debouched than debauched, I suppose.

My neighbor's driveway empties across from the most convenient place for my guests to park their cars. My brother's car was kissed (to the tune of $2,000) by that neighbor's minivan one evening last year. And there wasn't even ice, just the inability for the driver to see what was behind his leviathan automobile. Minivans aren't so mini anymore.

Secondary Roads said...

That's a great story. I'm amazed at people's lack of perception. So many fail to visualize consequences.

vanilla said...

Jim, appropriate intro because when I wrote the account my autocorrect wanted to change it to "debauchment."

Drivers would be well-advised to look where they are going!

Chuck, but I really did assess the circumstances, yet I somehow thought I had to get to work, anyway.

Lin said...

Growing up, the guy across the street would park like that. My mom would warn him, "John, if you park there, I'm afraid someday I will hit you." He did. She did. Not intentionally, of course.

My neighbors do the same. I am waiting for the crunch one day.

vanilla said...

Lin, yep. All it takes is a skiff of snow, or who knows what?