This morning on 31 southbound,
I looked over to my left and there was a Woman
In a brand new Escalade doing 65 mph, with her face up next to her
rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds...to continue shaving
And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver,
which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel,
I knocked my cell phone away from my ear.
It fell into the coffee between my legs!
Ruined the darned phone, soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an important call.
Dang women drivers!
Disclaimer: This is not original with me. I found it in a folder I maintain titled cryptically "TTK" which as you guessed, means "things to keep." I drop stuff in there for the same reason Foghorn Leghorn keeps his feathers numbered.. for such an occasion as this when the creative feathers have been plucked.