What Am I Watching, or Not

Disclaimer: These comments are revelations of my personal TV viewing choices. They should in no way be taken personally by you. There are no criticisms of your choices implicit in these observations. There will be some criticisms of the programs or their content. No, look. Don't hate on me. I told you not to take it personally.
Stuff I don't watch.
Reality TV. The reality is that the cheapskate producers are scamming you. Have I ever watched RTV? Two years ago I watched three "episodes" of American Idol. Last year I saw one leg of The Amazing Race, or whatever it's called. Please. It is like looking at a train wreck. The same psychology must apply. Or, we make ourselves feel better about ourselves by thinking, Oh, my, I'm so glad I'm not that ugly/stupid/inept/whatever. I know people who watch these; I hear people talk about them, people ask me, "Did you see...?" to the point that I wondered if something was wrong with me. Nope. Nothing wrong with me.

Anything reported by John Stossel, Mary Hart or Geraldo Rivera; anything narrated by Alan Thicke or Wilford Brimley; made-for-TV movies, except Hallmark Hall of Fame.

Anything on Wednesday night.

Any SitCom introduced in the past five years.

Okay, so what do I watch?

Cold Case. The premise is sound if the detail is sometimes a little unrealistic. Overlook that and be entertained. The characters are flawed enough to be believable, yet one is not repulsed by them. While there is some gratuitous gore, the gratuitous sex is minimal.

House. BBBH hates this show, because House is so nasty. But she helps me watch it in exchange for my helping her watch House Hunters International.* She does ask me to avert my eyes when Lisa Edelstein is in the scene. Hard to honor that request though. Among the reasons: I don't want to miss it when the seams pop open on her much-too-tight attire. How believable is it that high-power execs dress like that on the job? Anyway they don't here in Hometown.

NCIS but not the LA spinoff. NCIS is pretty much my definition of "must not miss " TV. I have been known to watch NCIS marathon presentations on cable, but never more than two episodes in a row. Again, the premise is far-fetched, but the characters are so much fun one tends to overlook the shortcomings. There is gratuitous guts and gore; and what I believe is that GGG is used deliberately to desensitize and dehumanize us. It's obscene, really, and all police/detective programs provide an unhealthy dose of it.

CSI, the Thursday original, but not the Miami^ or New York spin-offs. However, I find myself reading more and viewing less since "Grissom" left the show.

The Mentalist Ludicrous premise, ridiculous story lines, marginal acting. But I can't help myself.

Friday BBBH controls the remote, which means we watch Animal Planet or HGTV. Not much distraction, I read a lot.

Bones 3G to the max, but semi-witty repartee can entertain. The overt promotion of "alternative lifestyles" is pretty much over-the-top.

Any Ken Burns' documentary.

Background Noise

Classic Country channel is often playing. No watching required.

What Did I Once Watch?
Collegiate Football Don't do it anymore. I'm too near the bridge to spend that much time in the middle of the day watching a game in which I'm not vested. Ditto collegiate basketball. (Pro bb has never been on my radar.)

Ballykiss Angel and some Brit Coms, e.g., Fawlty Towers; Are You Being Served?; Dr. Who; Keeping Up Appearances; and my favorite, As Time Goes By.

Law and Order. LaO has become so highly politicized that it's no fun anymore. LaO SVU? Mariska Hargitay is prettier than ever, but I don't find that alone to be a compelling reason to watch.

Boston Legal. BBBH so truly despises this that out of respect for her I no longer tune it in.

The Sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond. It is possible that I have seen every episode-- numerous times. Still catch a rerun occasionally.

So what do you, do you not, did you watch?

*The grumble and growl factor is quite high. People with too much money and too high an opinion of themselves who try to escape from what they are clearly taking with them. Guess that would make a post in itself. Hush, now.

^How much David Drone-drone-drone-drone Caruso can one abide?