Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Tom, Tom the Piper's Son

Three years ago I posted this.  It is short, so I copied it here as an intro to today's tale.

Duck and Wheel with String discovered Goose with Frock and Bonnet on her front step. Lin is so not into kitsch. I get that. But this has prodded me into making this terrible confession. We have concrete statuettes in our yard. This SWaSD tableau is in our backyard, not visible from the street. Nor can the next-door neighbors see them unless they are looking for them. Is there an excuse for this? Yes. Yes, there is. They make BBBH happy! So it is likely that each spring I will place them somewhere in the backyard. Each fall I'll lug them back into the barn to protect them from the ravages of winter. And Snow White weighs ninety pounds. [groan]

Today's Tale

I was riding home on the bike when I spotted this less than two blocks from home.

My thoughts ran in this manner.  The pig did not wander from home and get itself trapped behind the guardrail and in front of the sign post.  Someone had to help him get there.  So someone boosted him from his rightful place, that is, this is a stolen pig.  Now why would I think that?  I think that because several years ago when SWaSD "lived" in our front yard, someone stole three of them.  A letter to the editor, an appeal to a conscience somewhere, was instrumental in the recovery.  So now they inhabit the backyard.  But back to the pig.  

I worked in the concrete industry many years ago and I have a pretty good notion of what the stuff weighs.  Eyeballing the pig suggests that there may be about 150 pounds of material there.  Not only did the pig not place itself there, it was probably an effort involving at least two people.
Profiling.  Yes, I am picturing a certain type of human individual who might be involved in such a thing.  Does male teenager seem about right?


Lin said...

Hahaha! I love the pig in the highway. Silly hooligans.

When we were blessed with Mary Ellen the Marching Band Goose on our front porch, my first reaction was that there was some poor old lady missing her goose. I even called the police department in case someone had reported their goose stolen. Yeah. You could hear the silence on the other end of the line. So much for being nice.

I don't blame you for putting your collection in the back. I have a couple of garden statues that stay in our backyard too. Foiling the teens is a must.

Vee said...

We used to call these teen antics pranks. Now they get arrested for moving the yard art around.

We have a no yard art rule in our subdivision regulations - even specifically mentioning bird baths. That rule discourages no one. From my window I see lots of things that would be so classified. The developer wrote the regulations. I would love to see his yard. I would guess maybe his wife has him carrying 90 pound images to the barn in the fall.

vanilla said...

Lin, doing the right thing isn't always received with enthusiasm.

Shenanigans will continue so long as there are kids.

vanilla said...

Vee, "pranks" will continue so long as there are kids. (Oh, I've already used that response.)

I am torn on the issue of control. On the one hand people living in a free country should be able to use their property as they see fit. On the other hand, without "rules" one gets this sort of thing:

Secondary Roads said...

Adolescent males. Yes, that describes the fun-loving youngsters that would do something like that.

Old guys don't have the energy for that, but will find it to please a loved one.

Anonymous said...

I love yard art - but not old rusty appliances, cars and commodes - I know - picky, picky, picky.

Gnomes, Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs, gargoyles and angels - particular favorites of mine - and yes, even pink flamingos (maybe especially pink flamingos). Bird baths - goes without saying!

Shelly said...

I think you have the perpetrator pegged, spot on. And I have seen a very large concrete gorilla statue in a back yard- I wonder if they could swipe it?

vanilla said...

Chuck, we do what we can to please those we love.

Grace, I think the commode is the tackiest of all yard displays. There is a set of about thirty pink flamingoes that make their rounds in our community. They typically show up in someone's yard during the wee hours of morning.

Shelly, I am guessing that the gorilla is protected somewhat not only by his size, but by his placement in the back yard. Hooligans typically won't risk that. We've not had a dwarf stolen since we relocated them to the back yard.