Hard work? Certainly. No matter how much two people care for each other it requires effort to make the relationship work. Willingness to make the effort is the thing most often lacking in failed relationships. "I don't love her anymore." "He doesn't appreciate me anymore." A thousand other excuses but underlying them all is a lack of commitment and failure to expend any effort.
If you don't love her now, then you never loved her enough to ask her to marry you in the first place. As Johnny and June sang to each other "We got married in a fever hotter than a pepper sprout." A fever, lust, is a flimsy foundation for a marriage..
This started with the simple tableau that played out in our living room yesterday. BBBH went to the kitchen and retrieved my wedding band which rested in a small cup since I went into hospital, the same small cup in which she deposits her rings from time to time whilst she is kneading dough or making pie or noodles. Neither of us feels unloved or unloving during these intervals in which the mere outward symbol is set aside, for the inner commitment continues to thrive.
My Beloved Beautiful Better Half brought the symbolic token to me and said, "Let me put this ring on your finger again."
"If you had it to do all over again, would you still marry me?"
"Of course. Just because I get mad at you doesn't mean I don't love you."
Then she lovingly replaced the ring on my finger.
12 comments:
That's a lovely anecdote. You parents must have been super special.
Chuck, I know that I shall always believe my parents were super special, not the only people who were, but certainly top-notch Class AAA, Big League. I was blessed to grow up in their home.
I know she is glad to have you home, and you are glad to be there. Sweet story.
Ilene, thank you; we are nothing if not glad.
I have never understood renewing your vows with a grand party and guests and fancy clothes and a big ballyhoo. I think you renew your vows every. single. day. I do. It's taking the garbage cans in so he doesn't have to...or cutting the lawn after work to make more relaxing time on the weekend. It's small kindnesses and lots of forgiveness and letting things go that show your commitment.
Sweet post today.
Lin, perfect agreement here. It is the daily living in commitment to the vows, fooforah and trappings nothing more than an excuse for a party. I think.
Awww. Love it!
Vee, thanks. It is a fun run!
You two are quite the couple!
Sharkey, one could say that. And interpret as one may.
So wonderfully sweet. And I'm glad to hear you're home from the hospital and feeling good enough to tell us all how wonderful your wife and marriage are (and hurrah for that too!). :)
Rosey, it is indeed good to be home and able to toy with the blog a bit. I am blessed
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