Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Superannuated

Daily Planet

Last phone booth removed from Metropolis
Superman thwarted

Metropolis- The last remaining phone booth belonging to RD&D (Ring a Ding and Ding) Telecom Corporation has been taken away by its purchaser, I.D. Ott, the well-known collector of memorabilia from the mid- to late twentieth century.

As we all know, the phone booth was a crucial aid to Superman in his relentless fight against crime in the City.  He now has no place to change while maintaining his anonymity.  We caught up with Superman recently as he sat nursing a nourishing drink at Sourduck's Health Bar on Third Avenue.

Planet:  Superman, we have noted a decrease in your activity recently.  Surely this is not due to a drop in crime?

Superman: No, unfortunately.  But remember, I started leaping tall buildings of Metropolis three-quarters of a century ago.  I like to think I am not in my dotage, but I'm not so young as I once was, and a twelve-story building taxes me these days.

P:  What about flying?  Are you still able to pursue the bad guys by swift flight?

S:  Flying is for the birds.  Besides, I have rather lost my enthusiasm for crime fighting since Lex Luthor died.  One just naturally needs a nemesis to keep him focused, to keep him in the air, so to speak.

P:  Do you consider yourself retired, then?

S:  I've been drawing Social Security since 1981, and with some good IRAs I built up over the years, I really don't need the work.

P:  I am sure the Metropolitans will miss you and your exploits.

S:  Well, they can get their thrills from TV reality shows; or better, by simply being out and about.  Crime is so rampant these days one can hardly miss being in the middle of it.  Catch your own crook.

And there you have it as Superman finally flies, er, ah, strolls off into the sunset.  

8 comments:

Secondary Roads said...

Well done! I love it.

Actual story. A Superman fan and a Batman fan were arguing over which hero would win a show fight between the two. The argument grew quite heated and the Batman devotee in desperation blurted out: "But Superman isn't a real person."

Vee said...

Great post! This no doubt explains why crime is on the rise.

When I retired, there was someone to step in and take my place. Obviously, I'm less significant than Superman.

Please don't tell me Superman isn't a real person, Secondary Roads. That would not make my day.

Shelly said...

We could certainly use Superman walking the halls of government in Washington DC right now~

vanilla said...

Chuck, oh, funny; and well-told!

Vee, we won't tell you Superman is not a real person; but you do need to know he is one of a kind.

Shelly, good idea, and yet I'm not at all sure that even a Superman could straighten out that mess.

Grace said...

Was never a Superman fan...but that was fun and clever...

vanilla said...

Grace, thank you. Sometimes I get whimsical.

Sharkbytes said...

Uh... I think you have mixed your metropoliphores

vanilla said...

Shark, perhaps?